MLIA

[joker]

Oh kay ^^ MLIA means "my life is average". It has a website at www.mylifeisaverage.com with many people how their life is 'average'. Quite a lot of the stories are funny ^^ some are just... average xD Anyways visit the site, post your favourite ones here.

Typical topics in MLIA:
- Harry Potter (very popular)
- Talking with stranger and making them your new best friend xD
- and Dora the Explorer backpacks xD
- Your 'today'

[CodeBreaker]

Hahahahahahaha this is funny lol

Today, I put my boyfriend's and my picture into makemebabies.com. After seeing how disgusting our children would look I put in my own picture twice. My children would be gorgeous. I now am waiting on a way to reproduce A-sexually. MLIA.

I will post more later

EDIT - These are funny as well lol

Today, I had a milkshake. It did not bring all the boys to the yard. MLIA

Today I though of the perfect comeback for an argument I had three days ago. MLIA

Today, I wanted to comment on a friend's status, but it was only a few seconds old and I didn't want to seem like a stalker. I waited a few minutes and then commented. MLIA

Today, I was sad about Michael Jackson's death. So I looked up all his songs and downloaded them illegally, but I didn't feel bad cause he doesn't need the money anymore. MLIA.

Today I realized that my daughters have bigger boobs than me. It's okay though because I'm their Dad. MLIA.

Last night, my dad walked in on my girlfriend and me. He asked if he could join in. We were playing rock band. MLIA.

Today, I couldn't hear what someone had said, so I asked them to repeat themselves. They did, and I still couldn't understand them. I just nodded and agreed. MLIA.

Today, I got farther with a girl than I ever have before. We ran 10 miles. MLIA.

Today, I opened my closet. Didn't find Narnia. MLIA.

Today, MLIA was not working. I went to FML and submitted "Today, MLIA was not working. I had to come here. FML" I don't think it will get published. MLIA

Sorry it is long but I thought these were mad funny lol

[joker]

One's in brackets are my own comments:

Today, I realized my dads name is Bob, he is a builder. His tools do not talk to him. This upset me more than it should. MLIA

Today at work I saw my girlfriends car in the lot. I got excited thinking she came to see me. Then I remembered I drove her car to work. MLIA (lol xD That's pretty cool, he must've been like "YESSSSSS......ohhhhhh....")

Every night, I put on a Disney movie before I go to bed. Tonight, I put on the Lion King, and my puppy stopped playing and put his head down when Rafiki raised Simba. I know who will be getting an extra treat tomorrow for showing proper respect to the King. MLIA (that is so cool)

Today, while I was on the phone with a friend she screamed, "Oh my god a spider!" To which I jumped on my chair and responded, "where?!" The spider was in her house, not mine. MLIA. (fail much?)

Today, I noticed that there was a warning on my bag of marshmallows: "choke hazard: eat only one at a time." Feeling rebellious, I stuffed two marshmallows into my mouth at once. I nearly choked. MLIA. (again, fail xD)

Yesterday I got one of those eye mask things to wear when I sleep and I was so excited I went to bed early and forgot to set my alarm. My mom woke me up so I wouldn't be late for school and I opened my eyes and saw nothing. I thought I was blind and freaked out. I will not be wearing it again. MLIA (LOL)

Today, it was dress as your favorite story book character day. I dressed as Harry Potter, and I saw a random kid that ive never even seen before dressed as Ron. I desided to take the risk and asked, "Ron...is that you?" He then turns to me and says, "Bloody hell! Harry I havent seen you in a long while!" Guess who my new best friend is? MLIA (random strangers are always cool)

Today, instead of writing my essay, I put on a video of cats meowing to see how my cat would react. She spent 15 minutes searching the computer for hidden cats, pausing every 30 seconds to look at me as if checking whether I was responsible. Evening well spent. MLIA (LOLCAT xD)

Today, my mom picked me up from the Amtrak station in our town, and driving back I pointed out a Korean Restauraunt named Emo's. My mom quickly responded with, "Where the food cuts itself!" She is now my favorite parent. MLIA (Pretty darn good joke xD)

Today, I was working at the bookstore. I saw a girl moving all the Harry Potter books from the young adults section to the non-fiction section. Instead of kicking her out, I shouted "Petrificus Totalus!". She stopped immediately and fell to the ground. I'm taking her to the movies tommorow. MLIA (LOL! HARRY POTTER TO NON-FICTION - I GOTTA TRY THAT)

Today, I went back to my car after a day at the mall and saw that someone wrote "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty" on the back of my dirty car. I actually love this person. MLIA (LOL, the person must've been bored xD)

Today, me and my friend were having a 'Yo Momma' battle. I said 'Yo momma so ugly even Dementors wouldn't wanna kiss her.' I think we all know who won. MLIA. (PWNT!)

Today I went on FML and read "Today, my boyfriend told me his life's ambition is to become a ninja. He was serious. FML" I'm wondering how that's a bad thing. MLIA (Ninja's are cool, I need a ninja girlfriend... if they exist...)

Today, I was walking down a busy sidewalk. A man stopped me and leaned to whisper in my ear. I was really creeped out, until he said "Pretend to be scared in three seconds" Three seconds later, his four year old son hopped out from behind a tree with zombie face paint on and yelled BOOOOOOOOO! I screamed and ran away, flailing my arms. MLIA. (I will do that later xD)

[Admin]

Today, I found out the little girl next door to me is celebrating her sixth birthday tomorrow. My friend, who is my age, is celebrating his birthday tomorrow as well. The little girl's birthday party is Spongebob themed, and Spongebob will be there. I don't need to tell you which party I'll be attending. MLIA.

Today, I was walking down the street and someone ran up to me and asked me the date. I said "Saturday, August 29th, 2009" he looked at me and a huge grin formed on his face, and he said "2009?! YESS!" and ran off. I am now convinced that he was a time traveller, and his experimentations worked. MLIA.

Today, I found my dad on the sofa. He had fallen asleep while reading a self-help book called getting things done. I took a picture. MLIA

Today, my dad found a gecko in my house. He then said to it "If you could make it past my two dogs and into my house, I'll let you live. You can kill all the bugs in my house, my little gecko bodyguard." I love my dad. MLIA

Today I had a math test and the question was "how many feet are in a mile?" I answered "depends how many people are standing in it" I got 4 extra credit points. The question was only worth 2. MLIA

Today, I didn't feel like doing my homework. I decided to put dog treats in the pockets of all my brothers shorts so our dog will keep following him around. Evening well spent. MLIA

Yesterday, I went to a Twilight convention dressed as Harry Potter. Needless to say, multiple Edward Cullen's told me to leave. I asked if I could stay if I was wearing my invisibility cloak. They were not amused. MLIA

Today, I was eating a bowl of blueberries and decided to start sharing them with my dog. I found a really squishy gross one, and I didn't want it, so I gave it to my dog. He spit it out and glared at me. I feel really guilty now. MLIA.

Today, I realized that I had forgotten to turn in a really important essay for school. I was really upset, and when I told my mom what had happened, she said it was no big deal, then proceeded to change the date on her fax machine to say it was two days before the essay was due, fax the paper in, and have me call the teacher to "make sure she got it, despite the fact that our fax machine is kinda quirky". I'm so proud my mom's so sneaky. MLIA.

Today while playing the sims, my married couple got in a heated argument. The options of 'yell at' and 'slap' came up. Later on when the wife was pregnant, they got into a similar argument, but only the option 'yell at' came up. It's nice to know that the sims draws a line with physical abuse when the wife is pregnant. MLIA

Today, I read an MLIA about names being used such as Beyonce, Oprah, etc. in Starbucks. So today I decided to try it myself. However, while in line, when someones coffee was done, the cashier yelled "Waldo". No one claimed the coffee. Well played Waldo. MLIA

Yesterday, I convinced my sister that unicorns are not mythological, they are just really rare. Today, she came home laughing about how stupid her teacher is, because 'she thought that unicorns weren't real'. I agreed that her teacher was an idiot. MLIA

Today I accidentally walked into the closet at school instead of opening the door to get out. My teacher said "Narnia's the next classroom over." I think I love my school. MLIA

Today, I read a story about someone telling their mom that LMAO meant "Lettuce, Mayo, Avocado and Onions." I went to Subway and when the guy asked what I wanted on my sub, I simply said "LMAO." The man smiled and replied "MLIA." Subway is now my favorite sub place. MLIA

[Admin]

Today, I saw there was a missed call on my phone. I didn't recognize the number but we have caller display and shows the name of who's calling. It said Wall E. My name is Eve, and I believe my soul mate just tried to contact me. MLIA.

Today, I was sitting at a gas station when I saw a girl walk over to the trash can, knock on it three times, and kick it once. Then she bent down and pulled a ten dollar bill out from under it. I'm confused as to how this works. MLIA

Today, I was taking a tour of a college when we passed a stone building that looked a lot like Hogwarts. When the tour guide asked if there were any question, I raised my hand and asked if they allowed Muggle Borns. The tour guide said yes, and sometimes even Squibs. The other tour guide nodded seriously. I am definitely applying here. MLIA

Today was a relatively warm day for September. Tonight, on my way home from work, it was really cold and foggy. I wasn't too creeped out, until I got a text from my boyfriend. "The Dementors are breeding." MLIA

Today in World History class, my teacher was explaining how back in the Mesopotamian era, a slave could only be let free if he was given an article of clothing by his master. Immediately, 4 hands shoot up and my teacher goes, "Yes, just like in Harry Potter." The 4 of us were pleased that our teacher was trained to know Wizard history as well. MLIA.

Today, one of the kids in my Spanish class got caught texting. As our teacher was about to take his phone, he got up, and sprinted to the door before he stopped in the doorway and shouted "You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow" before he ran out of the room and down the hallway. He never came back to class. It absolutly made my day. MLIA

Today in the mall while sitting on a bench, an old man who was wearing a cloak and looked exactly like Dumbledore sat next to me. I turned to him and said "Hello Professor, how is Hogwarts this year?". He looked at me, smiled and said "Splendid! But I have good news!" He pulled a pair of socks out of one of his shopping bags, said "I got a nice pair of warm socks!", and left. Coolest old man I have ever met. MLIA

Today I bought a 100% Strawberry Orange Juice. The first ingredient is grape juice. Tropicana tricked me. MLIA.

Today, I tried to use a diffrent method to study for my biology quiz. I decided to read my notes out loud in an Indian accent. We graded the quizzes in class. I got
a 100. This will become a normal thing. MLIA

Today, my brother asked me how to swear in Chinese. Instead of teaching him swear words, I told him how to say "I like cake." I feel this will be much more useful to him. MLIA.

Today, I took my 6 year old brother out to eat and when we received the check I informed him that we had no money to pay the bill. I told him that we were going to have to sell his Pokemon cards to pay for the meal. He thought about this and then said, "can I sell my pants instead?". I'm glad he has his priorities. MLIA

Today my doctor told me I need to take Steroids for a week. I asked him if it would shrink my testicles. He politely reminded me that I am a girl. MLIA

Today, I was annoyed after receiving about 10 sales calls so when a carpet cleaner called I asked him if he knew how to get blood out of carpets and walls and ceilings. I don't think he will be calling here anymore. MLIA

Today in British Lit, I was completely engrossed in playing with a mini stapler. After realizing my teacher had not been talking for about 4 minutes, I looked up to see what we were supposed to be doing, and the whole class was staring at me playing with the stapler. MLIA.

Today I called the Apple Support Line, because my harry potter game had frozen my mac for over 45 minutes. When I told the guy about my problem he immediately responded with "Voldemort must've hacked into your computer, press option, command and escape to defeat him." I love apple. MLIA

Today, I had a huge argument with one of my friends on facebook. I decided that I had lost the argument, so I deleted all of my posts. Now it just looks like he was talking to himself. This easily made my day. MLIA

Today, I was bored so I followed my cat around the house narrating everything he did. Out loud. With an Australian accent. Day well spent. MLIA.

Today, I followed the Google versus Yahoo trend and typed in "What to do when..." Yahoo filled in with "love is gone" and Google filled in with "the condom breaks." Google's there for you when you really need it. MLIA.

Today, I came up to a cross walk. Right before pressing the button I noticed the sign above it said "Reboot Universe." I was too afraid to push it, so I went the long way. You're welcome, Universe. MLIA.

Today, I found out that it is illegal to shower naked in Oregon. I feel like a rebel knowing that I break the law everyday. MLIA

Today I found out that when my grandpa came to America he changed his name from Hans to Bruce because of Bruce Wayne (aka Batman). I've never had more respect for him. MLIA

Today I walked into the office where my boss and co-worker were having a conference call. Instead of paying attention to the call, they were making paper airplanes and told me to start on mine so we can battle. MLIA

Yesterday I jumped out from behind a corner and scared my cat. He walked away angrily and I didn't see him for the rest of the day. Today, when I went to the bathroom, I checked behind the shower curtain to make sure there wasn't a murderer there. My cat was sitting there staring at me. I screamed. He won. MLIA.

Today, I was holding my new puppy and thinking about how unfair it is that dogs don't get to pick their own names. I wondered how it must feel to have a name forced upon you. Then I realized it's the same way for humans. MLIA

Today, my computer wasn't working so I slammed my fist on the keyboard. It typed in, =]. I'm glad my computer is trying to cheer me up. MLIA.

Today, I was listening to a speech about snorkeling. I wasn't listening until I heard a speaker said "It was so long, I needed to take it out, so she could breathe properly". Why I burst out laughing the instructor will never know. MLIA (Inappropriate but 'lol' nevertheless)

Today, I caught my guinea pigs smuggling all of their food and toys into their castle shelter. I'm curious as to what plans they were conspiring. MLIA.

Today, my boyfriend and I made plans for Saturday for me to come over at 9AM. Then, I found out Saturday is National Be Late for Something Day. Guess who's showing up at 11? MLIA

Today I was walking around campus when I spotted one of my friends wearing a red-and-white striped shirt, a bauble hat, and glasses. His name is actually Waldo, and he was campaigning for residence hall treasurer. I think you know who got my vote. MLIA.

Today while walking down a random aisle at Target, I heard my 5 year-old say "I'd hit that!" My 8 year-old immediately responded, "I'd hit that too!" The 5 year-old giggled, "I bet Daddy would hit that real hard." My curiosity peaked I turned to see what they were talking about. It was a pinata. They were right - I would hit it. MLIA

[altomarelatios]

I'm saving a list on notepad of good ones, my list so far.



Today, I took a test in science class. One of the questions was "What is arguably the most dangerous element?" I said the element of surprise. I got extra credit. MLIA.

Today I was too busy reading a "Watch Your Step" sign to watch my step and tripped. MLIA

Today I changed my friends computer wallpaper to a screenshot of his wallpaper and hid all icons. I was still laughing hours later watching him struggle to open Office. MLIA

Today, I read that in the 1800s in Britain, attempting suicide was a crime punishable by death. I was amused the law writers took the criminals' wishes into consideration when sentencing. MLIA.

Today, I went to the supermarket. I picked up some peanuts. The packaging told me it "may contain nuts". I hoped it did. MLIA

Today, while walking around downtown, I saw a sign that said 'No Standing'. I stood under it. I got 6 high-fives, and a thumbs up from a police officer. MLIA

Today, I was eating a new can of pringles and saw where it said "on average 100 chips per can". I counted mine and had exactly 100. I felt extremly average. MLIA

Today, I was walking in Chicago and I saw a hobo who's sign read "my parents were killed by Voldemort, and Dumbledore doesn't believe me. Help me raise enough money to buy a wand and defeat He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named." Guess who got a dollar? MLIA.

Today, I was in a department store and I noticed an attractive woman staring at me. I winked at her. She was a cardboard cutout. MLIA

Today, my mom dragged me to Brookstone to get her a new massaging chair for her back problems. She asked the man working there if he could get her a "vibrator". When he acted really confused, she said, "you know, for your butt." I laughed the hardest I ever did in my life. MLIA

Today I saw a rabbit in my backyard. I quickly grabbed my turtle and placed him next to it, hoping they would race. They both started eating my grass. MLIA.

Today, I changed the name of all my classes. Tomorrow I have Potions first period and Muggle Studies second period. Never have I been so excited for Chemistry and History. MLIA

Today, while driving in our mini-van, my little brother and I got in a fight. He got so mad that he took his shoe off and threw it at my head. Luckily the shoe missed and flew out the window. My dad said he was a lousy shot and proceeded to drive away leaving the shoe behind. I win. MLIA
Today I saw a shoe lying on the side of the road. I wondered how someone had managed to lose a shoe there. Then I read an MLIA about a shoe being thrown out a car window. Question answered. MLIA.

Today my little brother said he could hold his breath for 1 minute underwater. I said I could easily go underwater for 10 minutes. He said he'd give me 15 bucks if I did. I then held a glass of water over my head for 10 minutes. He gave me the 15 dollars. MLIA

Today, while doing history homework, I realized people in the future will have to know more history than us. I feel bad for them. MLIA

Today, I saw a piece of paper on a wall at school, it was a sign-up list for Dumbledore's Army. I put my name on it. MLIA.

Today, we had to fill in a form for school. It asked for an emergency phone number. My friend put 911, thinking it was what we really had to do. It made my day. MLIA

Today I had a math test and the question was "how many feet are in a mile?" I answered "depends how many people are standing in it" I got 4 extra credit points. The question was only worth 2. MLIA

Today, I walked around the mall saying to random people "Hey, you dropped your pocket." and getting a good laugh every time they looked. I then passed a guy who not only didn't fall for it, but responded "I don't think so, but your socks are untied." I looked. He wins. MLIA

Today I watched a video of four guys in the navy were singing "I'm On a Boat" on a navy destroyer. I'm very glad that these are the type of people defending our country. MLIA

Today, my friend sneezed. I heard a guy across the room say "May the God of your choice bless you." This has made me week. MLIA.

Today, I realized the word bed actually looks like a bed. MLIA

Today, my girlfriend told me on the phone that we were breaking up. I went outside and the signal improved. MLIA

Today, I was sad about Michael Jackson's death. So I looked up all his songs and downloaded them illegally, but I didn't feel bad cause he doesn't need the money anymore. MLIA.

Today I realized that my daughters have bigger boobs than me. It's okay though because I'm their Dad. MLIA.

Today, the whole world came crashing down on me, so I got some tape and stuck the map back onto the wall. MLIA

Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold. MLIA

Today, I hid in my closet for half an hour to avoid doing chores. When I finally came out and walked out to the kitchen my mom asked me how my trip to Narnia was. MLIA.

Today, I got farther with a girl than I ever have before. We ran 10 miles. MLIA.

Today, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Then I considered that 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream. MLIA

Today, I opened my closet. Didn't find Narnia. MLIA.

Today my dad made a sad excuse for a "that's what she said" joke. Trying to be cool, I said "dad, that doesn't fit." He replied with "that's what she said." I have never laughed so hard in my life. MLIA

Today I saw a man being chased down the street by a cop. He was yelling " you can't catch me I'm the Ginger bread man." I laughed so hard I cried. MLIA.

Today, I noticed that there was a warning on my bag of marshmallows: "choke hazard: eat only one at a time." Feeling rebellious, I stuffed two marshmallows into my mouth at once. I nearly choked. MLIA.

Today, my mom picked me up from the Amtrak station in our town, and driving back I pointed out a Korean Restauraunt named Emo's. My mom quickly responded with, "Where the food cuts itself!" She is now my favorite parent. MLIA

Today I joined a new website and used the word "p*n*s" as my password. The website said my password was too short. MLIA

Today, my family had Chinese food. But since we're Chinese, we just call it food. MLIA

Today, I was talking to my friend about food. My friend said "I love food." and I replied with "Me too, it's like all I eat!". There was a silence. Then we laughed. MLIA

Today, I read a story about someone telling their mom that LMAO meant "Lettuce, Mayo, Avocado and Onions." I went to Subway and when the guy asked what I wanted on my sub, I simply said "LMAO." The man smiled and replied "MLIA." Subway is now my favorite sub place. MLIA

Today, while I was on the phone with a friend she screamed, "Oh my god a spider!" To which I jumped on my chair and responded, "where?!" The spider was in her house, not mine. MLIA.

Today, I thought about how cool it would be if you could high five yourself. Then I realised that it would be clapping. MLIA

Today, I got an F, I really, really, dreaded getting an F but I knew it was inevitable. That's just how Scrabble works sometimes, though. MLIA.

Today I was sitting on the couch next to my dog. My stomach growled. My dog growled back. MLIA

Today, all my friends took out their iPhones at lunch and were discussing new apps. I took out the Nokia I got in 1998 and started playing Snake. MLIA.

Today, I was riding the train home when it stopped and the lights went out. The kid next to me yelled, "DEMENTORS DEMENTORS!" A few moments later, the train started again. Everyone was staring at him, but he calmly shrugged and said, "False alarm." I wish I was as cool as that kid. MLIA.

Today I went into a Burger King and got one of the paper crowns just so I could wear it inside a McDonald's. The McDonald's manager offered me a free chocolate sundae if I threw away the crown. I did. MLIA

Today, I realized there are no blue Skittles. Now I feel as though I cannot taste the rainbow. MLIA.

Today, I drank a Red Bull. An hour later, my back started inexplicably hurting. I'm obviously growing wings. MLIA.

Today, I saw a drunk guy claim that he was George Washington. When asked for two forms of ID, he pulled out a dollar and a quarter. He wins. MILA

Today, someone tapped my right shoulder. I knew I was being tricked, so I looked to the left. No one was there. He was standing to my right. MLIA.

[Admin]

Today, I was at a restaurant and the drunken people at the table behind us were taking pictures. I then spent the rest of the night with the bread knife popping into the pictures with a maniac look on my face. I can't wait til those get developed. MLIA

Today, my boyfriend was dragging me around WalMart in a giant fisherman's net. A little girl asked me what we were doing. Without skipping a beat, my boyfriend said I was a mermaid, and the net was magical, so it let me breathe air and have legs. She not only believed us, but also took a picture with me. MLIA.

Today I walked downstairs wearing a black t-shirt and black pants. My brother said I looked emo. Then my little sister came down and said I looked like a ninja. I know who's the smarter sibling. MLIA

Today my brother bet me I couldn't color in a piece of paper completely with a ballpoint pen, leaving no white. 3 hours and 1 very sore wrist later, I proved him wrong. That piece of paper now hangs on the refrigerator. MLIA

Today I was talking with my best friend and she was complaining that she was forever getting calls from telemarketers. I told her that I never got telemarketing calls, then realized that when I gave out fake phone numbers to companies, I always instinctively gave them her number. I did not tell her of my realization. MLIA

Today, I jokingly told my little brother he was adopted. I said his mother was actually a pop-star singer, but she was too stupid to bring up the child herself and so we took the baby off her hands. Later on, my brother asked his dad if his real mom was Hannah Monatana. One of the reasons why I love him. MLIA

Last night, I had a dream that my friend died while riding a giraffe on the beach. This morning, I sent her a text warning her to avoid giraffes on beaches at all cost. She understood. I think I might have just saved her life. MLIA

Today I went to the bathroom at school. I heard crying, but I knew I was the only one in there. Turns out someone had put a recording of moaning Myrtle in the ceiling. I wish I had thought of it. MLIA

Today, I was playing 20 Questions thinking about a duck. It asked me whether it weighs more than a duck. My brain exploded. MLIA

The other day in Spanish class we had to take a survey. It asked if we knew any other languages. I wrote "Does parseltongue count?" on the side of the paper. When my teacher passed by and read it he fist bumped me. I have a feeling I'm going to like this class. MLIA.

[Admin]

Today my Vietnamese friend told me about a popular Vietnamese noodle soup called "Pho," which is pronounced "fuh" like the beginning of "fudge." As we were driving down the road, we saw a sign for a restaurant called Pho King. Asians are so clever. MLIA

Today, at lunch, they were serving chinese food with fortune cookies. My fortune said that I should expand my horizons. Thinking that was a silly fortune, I went back for another. It read "second tries will prove fruitless." Well done, Cookie. MLIA.

Today, a teacher, who is British, interrupted our class. He wanted his two students to retake their tests in the back of our class. He referred to them as his "Two Testees", and strictly demanded that his testees be separated. I don't remember laughing that hard, ever. MLIA.

Today, there was a new girl in my class called A.J. Ninami. She seemed like just another student. Then I read her name backwards. Guess who I'm asking out to Homecoming? MLIA

Today I drew a picture of myself on paint and named it 'me'. When I exited the computer popped up "Do you want to save me?" I felt it was a plea for help and clicked Yes. MLIA

Today in Latin class I found out that the Latin word for "spy" is "exploradora". I am now very suspicious of Dora the Explorer. MLIA

Today, I was taking a multiple-choice Biology exam. The correct answer was electron, but Megatron was also a choice. I have never been so tempted to get a question wrong. MLIA

Today, I woke up with a piece of toast on my face. I have no clue as to how it got there because I live alone. All I know is that my window was open overnight. MLIA

Today, my dad told me that when he was in the army his friend legally changed his last name to "Sir" so the drill sargeants would have to scream "SIR!" to their inferior. Way to beat the system. MLIA.

Today, my friend and I decided to have a lemonade stand. The UPS guy stopped by a bought a glass (which is also awesome). Later it was slow and the FedEX guy drove by. My friend yelled at him to buy some lemonade and he ignored her, I yelled "THE UPS GUY BOUGHT SOME!". The FedEX truck flipped a U-Turn and bought two glasses of lemonade. MLIA

Today while in Child Development class, we were discussing relationships. She asked us questions that we answered the way girls would normally answer. The class is all girls, so she got a bunch of boys from another class and asked them the same questions. When they were asked 'What's the difference between Sex and Romance?' they just sat there for a minute and then finally one of them said, "Candles?" It made my week. MLIA.

Today at school, in IT class we were working with CDs. I always sit at the same computer and it has never let me down before, so you can imagine my surprise when the disc tray didn't open. My teacher told me to just move to another seat. I, being loyal, refused.I fiddled with the tray until it opened, it had a 20 dollar bill folded inside. Loyalty is clearly appreciated by Microsoft. MLIA

Today, I saw a blind man and his seeing-eye dog. The dog had on a shirt that read, "Why is this old guy following me?!" It easily made my week. MLIA